You know the toys that make you question your entire reason for existence? Every time their screeching voices, obnoxious singing, or flashing lights play, your ears begin to bleed and suddenly you find yourself dreaming about being in the movie Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  Only, you’re running TOWARD the guy with the chainsaw while waving a white flag? You know – The ones that keep Prozac and Zoloft selling like red licorice ropes and bubble gum at a Dodgers game.

Here is why the makers of Prozac love me.

OMG, we should totally be, like, BFF’s! Follow me on Twitter and find me on Facebook. I don’t even ask that you call first.