Are you ready? I am. My metal armor is at the dry cleaners as we speak, actually. Along with the 4 down jackets, stocking cap, and 3 pairs of wool socks that I have to wear in order to bear the 4 am winter morning here in Idaho. Yes, I am aware that I said “stocking cap” and yes, I am aware that calling it that is so, like, 20 years ago.

Its a tradition for us, my sister and I team up and go out every year. We have a routine, a strategy. Thanksgiving day, we each grab a newspaper and mark all of the items we are after. We then compare the items, prioritize them based on the best deals and plan the morning based on importance. Best deals = stores to hit first. We do it this way because as the morning goes on, the lesser the chances of the item(s) we are looking for still being there when we finally arrive.

Also, the time parameters have to be taken into consideration. The line at each store we figure will take a good hour to get through – and that’s a good line. This creates a problem when the best deals are to be had before 11 am, as the “early bird” specials are over then. Make no mistake, that’s no reason to call it quits at 11, there are still plenty of lattes to be consumed and deals to be had… just not the “get out of my way or I will take one of your limbs with me” kind of deals.

To make the best of our time restraints, we grab our cart and take our place in line immediately upon arrival, then one of us shops while the other waits with the cart. Not only does this considerably cut down on the time spent at each store, but it also eliminates the added burden of having to maneuver around the masses with a shopping cart. Its a bit like Supermarket Sweep on speed.

There is no set “shopper” or “line waiter”, we take turns at who does what based on which of us has the most items to get at the particular store we are at. We both have the skills necessary to dominate both jobs. While my sister is shorter and much more passive then I am, she is quicker on her feet and can duck through and jump over obstacles with considerably more speed and precision. Obstacles such as women rolling around in the isles fighting over a toy, or down clothes racks blocking pathways. Me, I am the aggressive one. When there’s dirty work to be done, like a woman that won’t move out of the way or is asking the cashier far too many questions and taking up precious deal-getting time, I’m sent in to take care of the problem. Or, “do the job”, if you will.

Our husbands stay home with the kids on this day. Typically, I don’t mind bringing my kids out shopping with me, mostly because I don’t really know what to do with myself if I don’t have 3 conversations going on while trying to get something done. Black Friday shops are no place for children, though. It would be a little like throwing Marsha Brady into the School of Hard Knocks with a Hello Kitty backpack on.

This year its hard to go anywhere online without seeing Black Friday ad leaks. While I always take a glimpse at them, I don’t rely on their accuracy. Maybe after a few years, after they can prove to me that they are indeed the actual sale items, I will come to rely on them more. For now, though, this day is just way too important to put in the hands of something so unsure. Hardcore shoppers, like myself, are out risking their lives on this day. Putting our safety in jeopardy and our health at risk for that one bargain. The one deal that could change our lives forever. That is simply not something to mess with and certainly not something to put in the hands of a source that has yet to be proven accurate. For now, that hot bargain is just too important to risk missing out on.